Keeping with the theme of the unexpected from our initial series post, I thought we could continue there in our series journey.
As we discussed in our previous post, life can be anything but what we have planned in our hearts and minds for ourselves. Children are no exception to the unexpected ways that life can redirect our steps, so what do you do with this new life step coming in nine months whether you planned for it or not? How do you process what’s coming your way?
Maybe you’re seventeen, still in high school figuring out who you are as you wrap up your own childhood years. Perhaps you’re forty-five with no kids or already have older children and here comes another one. You could be in your twenties or thirties and you could never have dreamed of a better time to have a child. Are you having twins, triplets, more? Or perhaps you never wanted kids in the first place, but find out similarly to Ross on the hit sitcom Friends, that condoms are only ninety-seven percent effective? (They really should put that in huge black letters). No matter where you are on the spectrum of introducing children into your life you have probably stopped yourself to ask (or cry), “What now?”.
For a moment I would like to put aside the “What” in “What now?” and ask rather, “Who now?”.
As human beings we tend to focus on the what or the how of life. How am I going to pay for a baby? What will I do for work? What will happen to my body? How will I get through this? But rather let’s focus on the “who”. Who are you bringing into this world? Who are they going to be and what are they going to accomplish for the betterment of this world because you have brought them into the world? When we can focus on who we are bringing into this world, this new, innocent individual, rather than what it will change about our lives, our perspective begins to make space for a place of peace. The concerns we have don’t change, go away or become invalid, but our perspective begins to alter, increasing its power to change everything for the better.
We have a bond woven between us; human to human, unrelated to age, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religious/spiritual beliefs, etc. that brings us together towards a fulfillment unmatched by any other. You bringing another soul into this world are weaving human connection and peace into not only your life, (whether you feel it yet or not), but into all the lives your child will connect with throughout the entirety of her/his life including their own.
Regardless of whether or not you fall into the “I’m so excited to be a parent!” category, the “I really don’t want to be a parent…” category or in the miles of in-between space, I challenge you, even if but for a small moment, to put aside the scary, foreboding, daunting aspects of parenthood. May you see the purely good opportunity you have to make this world a better place simply because you exist and are making it possible for another to exist with you.
You are wonderful.
With love, Chloe Allen & the VGMC