Hello dear friends and welcome back :) 

For so many things in our lives, we hope we won’t receive a positive for: coronavirus, cancer, a speeding ticket, paying more taxes instead of getting a return, etc. The list goes on and yet out of all those times we don’t want to be positive, one of the most painful times to not see a positive sign is when you want to be pregnant.

In a world where we can control so much of our lives, our bodies and much of the happenings that go on within them, such as pregnancy, reside out of our control. When we want something we buy it, we DIY it, we make it happen and naturally we go into the baby-making business with the mindset that if nothing else, uncomplicated conception will happen because we will it to be so. 

And why shouldn’t we? Why shouldn’t we will for the good to come more abundantly into our lives? We all deserve a little more good. So when good becomes hard to come by on our own terms, naturally every nerve twinges with frustration, sadness, anger, maybe shame along with a collection of other valid emotions. And to add if one more person suggests that “it’s just not your time” or that “it will happen when it’s supposed to happen” your insides just might explode. If this is you, please know that you are not alone. Know that your feelings are valid and the pain you know is real. Take the time you need to grieve, to process, to pack a suitcase of everything that makes you sad and take a mental vacation away from the pain...for a moment. Like all much needed vacations, we eventually need to come back to face the real world head on. We can look to small things in life to bring us not just fleeting happiness, but pure joy as we live and take one step closer to achieving a beautiful desire that will in fact come to fruition in what might be a long time coming but still coming.

So while you find joy in the little, in the everyday, in the seemingly ordinary, just keep singing Taylor Swift because you know in your heart that “this pain won’t be for evermore”.

Sending baby dust your way with all my love,

Chloe Allen