Welcome to the Very Good Mother’s Club! We are SO happy for you and this new life being formed inside of you! In this post you will find friendly encouragement & tips from real moms who kindly submitted their ideas to the Very Good Mother's Club before our company launched. Originally we thought we would print their words in booklet form and include the booklet inside our Pregnancy Boxes. But once we got reading them we realized there was too much goodness for just one booklet, and decided instead to start a blog as another free resource for this community. We are so grateful to the women who generously offered their thoughts to this platform and we hope their words encourage you.
* As always if you are looking for more support please join us in our private Facebook group: Jess Hover & Friends!
Thoughts, Tips & Encouragement from Real Moms
"I honestly did not love being pregnant. I had about every symptom under the sun. Extreme fatigue, extreme nausea, heartburn, hip pain, back pain, swollen feet very early on, shortness of breath, headaches. It was super rough on my body but I would honestly do it all over again. I know people say it all the time, that it will be SO worth it when you see your baby. And it's SO true! As soon as I saw my son, I forgot about all the pain and all the miserable feelings. You can totally do it! No matter how you are feeling it will be worth it. And it's all temporary." - Carrie (Mama of Eli)
- Pregnancy is a beautiful process of learning how to let go and trust.
- No baby is born with a manual, raising your little ones will come with lots of adjustments to be made. Give yourself grace. You’ll enjoy the journey even more.
- Pregnant bodies are beautiful in all their strange ways.
- You may feel a bit crazy at times but don't worry.. you are NOT crazy. Just pregnant. The hormones of pregnancy sometimes heighten our emotions so just try to remember that your emotions are not always true. At the same time, you feelings are still very real. Pay attention to what you feel and seek support if you need it. Especially if you start to feel things like intense fear, anxiety, or sadness. Your loved ones will want to help you and your doctor will be able to support you too. As a mom your mental health will always be just as important as your physical health, don't hesitate to take care of yourself.
- Time really does fly, try & soak every minute of it all… even when the minute feels a bit chaotic.
"I remember my midwife telling me not to fight the contractions but to welcome and embrace them. I thought it was the weirdest thing I had heard. Welcoming suffering sounded a little crazy to me. I later discovered she was right in advising me to do so and once I was able to let the contraction come like waves, which come and go, it somehow made it easier. It was still very painful but it was now fully embraced as part of the process. I believe being a mom is often somewhat similar. Life isn’t about fighting all possible negative emotions and circumstances but welcoming them even when they seem painful and a little crazy. Knowing they too are like waves which come and go." - Marie (Mom of Anna & Mila)
- It is ok if you don’t “feel” pregnant right away I didn’t start really showing until almost the third trimester and then it finally hit.
- It is ok to accept help even if you feel fine. Family and friends love to help. Let them, ask them!
- Don’t google symptoms just call your doctor. Google tends to freak people out. :)
- Things in pregnancy change a lot and quickly. One week you may have placenta previa, the next week it may be gone. Don’t stress, just let the baby grow and do your best to stay healthy.
- Walking, yoga and stretching are your best friend (this is coming from someone who hates all 3 but was so grateful I made myself do it) so if medically it is safe for you do it!
- Trust your instincts if you feel bad or “off” call your doctor.
- Find a doctor you can trust! If it comes down to an emergency situation (like for me) you will want someone you can trust.
- Your health and the baby’s health are number ONE, ranking far above your ideal birth or plan.
- Communicate with your partner. If you need more help than they are giving talk to them!
- It took approximately 9 months for you to grow a baby so it isn’t fair to expect your body to bounce back a week after your baby arrives, especially if you have a difficult birth or c section. Rest and allow your body both time and space to recover.
- It is totally okay if you get overwhelmed at your baby, just have a safe place to put him or her down for a minutes even if they cry and you go take some deep breaths.
- A belly binder/band is very helpful after birth- especially with a c section.
- Amazon is your best friend! Diaper subscriptions.. next day deliveries.. discounts!
- Ovia baby version is a super fun and helpful app.
- Document your pregnancy and birth, don’t feel silly, I regret not having more pictures!
- Baby pics app is also super fun for photos.
- Target has a great maternity section and affordable nursing bras.
- Nursing dresses are amazing for the hospital - especially if you have to stay longer than you expected.
- It is ok not to be the "homemade baby food, nature outings, homeschool mom", it is also okay to be that mom. Be whatever is most natural to you and your family. You are perfect for the child you have.
- DON’T COMPARE - feel free to delete social media if necessary for the sake of your mental health, especially in the early days of mom-life or on particularly hard days.
- You are not in control of everything. Some things are out of your control (especially when it comes to certain aspects of your family’s health.)
- Find a group of moms who will support you in person (I’m still working on that!) or at least find a great group of moms online. Taking care of our babies is hard work and support from others is vital to our success.
- Don’t stress yourself out by trying to be over prepared. You can figure it out as you go!
- Don’t wait to schedule your maternity pictures (My daughter was born the day I was supposed to get them! lol)
- Enjoy your baby shower and don’t feel guilty about people wanting to bless you.
"More than anything you are doing a GREAT job. Remember your baby needs a present mommy NOT a perfect mommy. You were made for this job, you were made to be your baby’s mommy. - Alissa (Mama of Cecelia)
If you were anything like me during pregnancy, everything on my body hurt! Especially my hips and lower back. Here are some things that helped me:
- Pre-natal massage
- Physical therapy
- Stretching
- Warm epsom salt baths almost daily
- Husband/significant other massage
- Swimming!
- Walking
- Tylenol when needed
- Get a pregnancy wedge pillow! I had 2 and put one under my belly/hips and the other between my legs. It helped me sleep a lot better and helped manage pain.
- Pregnancy classes
- Watching YouTube videos on pregnancy/birth helped me feel more prepared
If you suffer from pregnancy insomnia:
- Try taking magnesium before bed
- Avoid screen-time the last 30-60 minutes before you try to fall asleep
- Avoid caffeine after lunch
- Get exercise during the day
- Don’t drink too much water before bed because you may have to pee 1,000 times in the night
- Take care of your mind & heart. As a person of faith I found that listening to worship music, praying and being in the Word helped me through difficult days.
- Positive podcasts & media can keep you encouraged.
- Hanging out with friends and family helped take my mind off my struggles at times.
- Your body was made for this and you are extremely capable! You can do this!
Chloe